So I bought a dress.

One of my closest friends is getting married in early December and I have the honor of being one of her bridesmaids.  I have only ever been a bridesmaid once before so I am very excited to be a part of my friend's special day.  So excited in fact that I decided to buy the dress a size down from the one that actually fit me. 

I am an idiot.

I basically have three months to go from fitting snugly in the dress above, to fitting into an even smaller size!!   I am either going to pull off a miracle or I am going to ruin my friend's wedding.  :o/

Breakfast

3 egg whites

muenster cheese

whole wheat bagel thin

1 tbsp

cream cheese
8 pts

Lunch

1 cup whole wheat pasta

1/4 c classico light alfredo

mussels

shrimp

squid rings

1 tbsp grated parmesan

white cooking wine

13 pts

I forgot how to work this thing.

 I'm not sure if anyone's reading this, but I'm writing.

I feel like a failure.  Somehow, somewhere along the way I forgot how to make this whole thing work.  I stopped saying no to food, I quit tracking, and I didn't make exercise a priority.  I've basically let myself go and I am so embarrassed.

I weighed in at 190lbs today.

It's crazy how fast it feels like everything happened, but it honestly it took me a while to drag myself down this path.  A lot of late night overeating and sedentary living.  I let this drag on for months and months.  So I guess it's time to get a grip on this before it gets to a point where I give up on even trying.  I can't explain how frustrating and annoying it is to start the journey of losing weight that I've already lost.  But I have to.