mish mosh of everything.

WARNING: THIS WILL BE A LONG POST....

I feel like a failure. 
For me, weight loss and healthy living is such a constant struggle.  Every time i think i have it all figured out, I hit this mental roadblock that just totally derails me and i lose my focus.  I become rebellious and pass up the fuji apple for the second slice of pumpkin pie.  I start compromising and I tell myself that a five pound gain isn't THAT serious....i can work that off in two weeks right? RIGHT? .... not really.

Those 5 pound gains really add up when the time to get my head back in the game never comes.  Next week's promise to start counting my points again turns into next month.  Or maybe the month after that.   My clothes still fit right? RIGHT? ....not really.  I would like to unbutton my pants as I type this. 

The journey from 159 to 179 lbs really happens in the blink of an eye....well at least faster than it took me to go from 179 to 159.  Weight loss shouldnt be a round trip. :(

Okay enough of the complaining/pity party. Its really time to take the reins on this and quit effing around.

The Weight Watchers program has undergone a few changes recently and it kinda feels like i'm learning how to do this all over again.  Points values for most foods have changed along with my daily target and weekly points allowance.  It's annoying that I have to look up the point values for foods I have been eating forever, but there is a certain novelty about the whole program now that makes me feel like I am having a fresh start. 
So I am back on the program and ready to eat right and focus on exercising.

I can't remember if I ever wrote about this but one of my goals has always been to become a runner...no really I am serious! I don't know why.  Maybe running to me represents the ultimate in fitness.  I am envious of those people who can just lace up their sneakers and head out for an "easy" 5 mile run. I've never been able to do that and recently I have been thinking about changing that fact.

For a few weeks last month I began following the C25k program for beginners who want to train to race in a 5K.  I really liked it and it made me feel like I was on my way to become one of those crazy people that I always see.  Day light savings time kicked in and it became too dark for me to run out doors after work.  It was really important to me to run outside rather than on a treadmill.  I feel like treadmill running isnt an accurate comparison to running outdoors and running on the treadmill isn't really that difficult for me.  So now I really want to challenge myself to follow the program and get to the point where I can run/jog 3.1 miles (5K) without stopping. 

And that is why I decided to sign up for my first 5K (GASP!!)

Yea you read correctly.  I signed up to run a 5K in mid-february.  I figured that would give me enough time to get through the training program.  Signing up kinda forces me to get out there and train for it. did i mention there was a registration fee? If for no other reason, my ass needs to train for this so that I don't feel like I flushed my money down the drain! I am kinda excited about it and I have recruited a friend to participate with me.  For the next 8 weeks I plan on including my training updates here.

Breakfast

Weight Watchers bagel

1 oz smoked salmon

1/2 weight watchers reduced fat cream cheese

6 pts

 (not pictured)

Lunch

Steamed broccoli

Amy's Indian Matar Tofu

7 pts

Snack
pineapple, kiwi, strawberries

2 large shrimp

baby carrots
55 gold goldfish (yeah i counted them!)

5 pts

 (not pictured)


Dinner

POTATO SOUP

1 large potato

2 tsp olive oil

1/2 c light soy milk

3 slices canadian bacon

leaks

red onion

1/3 c part skim mozzarella cheese

2 tbsp sour cream

13 pts

I'll insert the pictures later!

Total for the day: 31 Weekly Bonus Points Used: 2