Sh*t Just Got Real

I am a tall glass of water from entering no man's land - a weight that I have never seen in my life and a weight that I refuse to allow to show up on my scale.

I want this to go away.  I feel like I am drowning in my own body. Besides this crazy number on the scale, let me clue you in on other real shi*t:

•  My clothes do not fit.  At all.  I am walking around looking like an uncomfortable sausage woman squeezed into jeans.  It is not a good look at all.
• I hardly recognize my body in the mirror.  I tend to think that I am skinnier than I actually am.  And then I see myself in the mirror and realize just how real this thing is. I am overweight like crazy. 
• I can't stop eating. 

I am at a point in my life where I need to decide whether to start this journey all over again, or just resign myself to the fact that I am just going to be overweight.

I'll keep you posted on which path I choose.

Photographic Evidence

Anyone who has ever decided to lose weight has this moment where it all crashes down - that moment where you realize your weight is seriously becoming a problem. That "Oh my God, I'm freakin HUGE" moment. The last straw that just forces you to do something.

My last straw moment was New Years Eve bringing in 2008. My friends all wanted to go out and I begrudgingly agreed. (Being overweight had made me want to avoid all social gatherings). I spent what seemed like eternity trying to find something to wear that would flatter instead of "fatter" me. I felt uncomfortable - my jeans felt skin tight and dug into my gut. Seriously. I did not have a good time because I felt sooo uncomfortable and self conscious. It was a nightmare.
But still, I thought (at the time) that I did a good job dressing myself.
Yeah I was wrong.


I have placed a black blob over the faces of my friends in order to protect their identities. LoL.
Oh and what is that black blob between my head and my legs you ask?
It's MY GUT!
At this point I was 196lbs and it definitely showed.

Seeing these pictures on facebook (UNTAG, thank you very much) motivated me to start losing weight.



xoxo
dee.