Sh*t Just Got Real

I am a tall glass of water from entering no man's land - a weight that I have never seen in my life and a weight that I refuse to allow to show up on my scale.

I want this to go away.  I feel like I am drowning in my own body. Besides this crazy number on the scale, let me clue you in on other real shi*t:

•  My clothes do not fit.  At all.  I am walking around looking like an uncomfortable sausage woman squeezed into jeans.  It is not a good look at all.
• I hardly recognize my body in the mirror.  I tend to think that I am skinnier than I actually am.  And then I see myself in the mirror and realize just how real this thing is. I am overweight like crazy. 
• I can't stop eating. 

I am at a point in my life where I need to decide whether to start this journey all over again, or just resign myself to the fact that I am just going to be overweight.

I'll keep you posted on which path I choose.

New Buys and Weigh Ins

I've been gone for a minute...but now I am back.
I don't have my laptop so I am using the home pc (which i hate...) But I gotta do what I gotta do to stay accountable right?
By the skin of my teeth I managed to have a loss this week. ... i don't know how this miracle occured since I stopped counting points on Monday, but i won't ask any questions!
LAST week I had a good solid loss so the smaller loss this week didn't really phase me.

I have this personal mini goal of reaching 155 by the end of April (my 25th bday).  That is a little less than 8 weeks away so I know that it can be done.  I know I need some sort of consistent gym schedule but......well i guess there really isn't a but except for the fact that I am lazy. LoL.

In the time between now and my last blog I have been conducting Oatmeal experiments.

EPIC FAIL.

I have come to the conclusion that regular plain quaker oats oatmeal isnt gonna cut it for me.  I can't swallow it.  My throat closes up and my stomach refuses to accept it. The only oatmeal that I actively like, is the instant flavored quaker oats (ie Maple Brown Sugar, Cinnamon Swirl, yada yada yada).  Its still oatmeal right?!? great. When I use the flavored kind and try the suggestions you guys gave me in an earlier post - YUM!! In my opinion, I have solved my oatmeal dilema. I know you are proud.

I bought a couple of things that everyone raves about.  I feel like a sheep, but so far so good!

I bought vitatops and Peanut Butter Co Dark chocolate dreams peanut butter.  The peanut butter has been going in my oatmeal.  I was never one of those kids that ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (wheres the meat?) but in oatmeal? Perfection!

I haven't tried the corn vitatops as yet and I hope they are as tastey as the chocolate, chocolate chip. One point?!?!? seriously? I will take that! My only complaint is the price.  At nearly 5 bucks a box (with four tops in each box) it is kinda ridiculous.  I only bought them because of a BOGO sale at the supermarket this week.  Oh I also bought those new Jello Mousse Temptations <- Buy this! Also only a point and it satisfies my chocolate needs. I want to try the Caramel Creme so I will pick that up next time.

Okay that's all FOR NOW.... be back with pretty pictures of pretty meals :)

Woop Woop Weigh In Results!

 Hey Everyone!

I don't know about you guys, but personally I am SURPRISED ...(and proud) that I managed to go the entire week tracking my points.  This blog definitely helped me stay accountable this week and really pushed me to make good choices.  THANKS EVERYONE!

Rolled myself outta bed this morning and took my ass to a meeting.  I mean, I acted like it was a hassle, but I was honestly just excited to step on the scale (strange!)

And the results:

WHAT?!?!?
Down 4.6 lbs! AANNNDDD I am back (albeit barely) in the 160s!! Yup Yup.  Maybe you are not impressed because this is technically weight that I have already lost before.  So What! Foodwise I worked hard this week.  I planned, I counted, I made good choices. I can only hope and work hard enough to ensure that this is the last time I will have to lose to work myself outta the 170s.

I plan on carrying this momentum into  the next week.  And I am returning to the gym.  My cold is gone and I can no longer use that as an excuse :)

Oh wait! Almost forgot - I lost a point today.  Since I moved into a new "decade" of weight, my daily point value has decreased from 24 to 23. Yay?

Breakfast

3 egg whites

2 tbsp shredded cheese

pancake muffins

tomatoes

5 pts

Snack

pear

(not pictured)

1 pt

Lunch

1/4 cup alfredo sauce

1 and 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta

broccoli and mushrooms

7.5

Is it alright that I made a lazy dinner? Of course it is! :) I live with my parents (whip out the violins) and one of my mother's biggest pet peeves is leftover food going to waste.  . . . so i had soup that was left over from a few days ago - progresso chicken and sausage gumbo. 

Dinner

Chicken and sausage gumbo

bagelthin everything bagel

1 oz salmon

1 tbsp light cream cheese

6 pts

Dessert (as always!)

Smartones cookie dough sundae

1/2 chocolate muffin (Gina's Recipe) 

5 pts

Total for the day: 24.5
Weekly Bonus Points Used:1.5
Bonus points remaining for the week: 33.5

Weigh In

Weigh in day is my favorite day. I know this sounds weird but besides all of the anxious feelings before I step on the scale, I really like Saturdays. For one thing, my points start over and I get a clean slate. (I dont know what I would do without these bonus points - they keep me from being mean to strangers) Also, I get to see how well or not so well my eating and exercise for the week impacts the number on the scale. Every weigh in is a learning experience, and even though gains can suck and bruise my moral, I always turn it into a teachable experience.

Can you tell I gained this week?

Not by much though. I am not even sweating it. Take a look.
Yea. I am up 0.2 this week. I think this is so insignificant I didn't even bother to cry on the scale. Maybe if I had shaved my legs this morning......
No biggie. This week's meeting discussion was the last in a 4 week series to encourage members to EAT VEGGIES! And I always talk about this but I am pretty laid back about actually doing it. I have a tendency to stick to my broccoli and I am no good at salads.

During the meeting I finally tried the Clif Z Bar that Nessie suggested. I had the chocolate chip kind. THANK YOU NESSIE! It was different from the regular Clif Bars. The Z Bar was more oatmeal-ly and softer to chew. It was great. And it was only 2 pts! I'll eat that.

After the meeting (which made me determined to eat even more veggies) I drove around Koreatown trying to find some lunch. I originally wanted sushi, but then I saw this place called the TofuHouse and I was curious. So I went. I didn't have my camera on me so I had to use my cellphone to capture the pic. I had to head to work so I ate lunch in my car (which is against my morals in general, but whatever)

Lunch
Tofu Salad!
Fried Tofu
Huge Salad
Ginger dressing
1 cup white rice (not pictured)
13.5 pts (rough estimation)

Ahh. This salad was toooo gooood! Why can't I make a salad like that? Due to my inability to communicate effectively with the lady who took my order, I didnt know that the tofu would be fried. But it was delicious and definitely worth the points. I loved it. Because of this salad I went to the supermarket after work because I am determined to recreate this salad later on this week. I'll be able to better control the points and plus I want to have a food experiment. Stay tuned for what happens with that!

Grocery Stuff

I was in a good mood (grocery shopping does that to me) and I dared to pick up some Clif Z bars. (gasp). You see, these things normally cannot be kept in my house. I live in a studio apartment. At any given moment I am (at most!) 15 feet from my kitchen. So I *only* bought three.

Snack
yogurt
1/2 blueberries
1/4 cup raspberries
ANOTHER Z bar
4.5 pts

Dinner
Chicken Burger on a Sandwich thin bun
apple
cucumber
8 pts
Here's a closer look.
Those little bits in the burger look weird.
Don't fret its just seasoning stuff.
Great Burger.

Oh! I ate quite a bit today. Look how many veggies and fruits I ate! Go me!
Oh and I exercised today. Walk/Jog on treadmill for an hour.
Total for the day: 28 pts
Weekly Bonus Points Used: 6 pts
Bonus Points remaining for the week: 29 pts

Oh I didn't blog yesterday's food. Pretty boring: 2 clif bars (i know i know. I promise no more huge clif bars.), Subway roast beef sub, baked lays sour cream and onion chips, scrambled egg whites, english muffin, weight watchers cream cheese, blue berries (I had breakfast for dinner) = 23 pts. And I did the treadmill for an hour.

Thanks for reading this Long Post!
xoxo
dee.

I've Been Evicted!!

FROM THE 160's!!!!

Boom.Boom.Pow.

This is great!
That number is definitely foreign to me. Honestly, I feel like the only time I know for sure I weighed lower than this was the day I was born!

However, I would like to take this time to mourn the loss of a point. In weight watchers, every time you enter a new "decade" of weight, your daily points target decreases by one. So now that I am in the 150s (crazy!) my points target decreases from 23 to 22.
Join me in this moment of silence....


Okay so now I am entering new territory with the weight and I am nervous. I have a tendency to sabotage myself (damn you snickers bars!) So I will have to be extra careful this week. That being said, I plan on making a cake this evening. haha. Saturday is just a day where I kinda relax with my points. I allow myself to use my weekly bonus points if I want, and I have already made plans for some of them with this cake. We'll see how it turns out.

I did have a clif bar today :) I accomplished my goal of holding out for a week, and since the week is over.....CLIF BAR FOR DEE!

Cliff bar
5 pts

Also, its Saturday and I am breaking my habit of buying ready made meals. (The fact that budget constraints prevent me from splurging for the next few days also helps) So right after the meeting today I raced back home to make something before work.

Brunch
3 egg whites
Whole Wheat english muffin
1 tbsp WW cream cheese
1/2 chicken sausage
4 pts

I was very hungry after work but I had to stop at the supermarket to pick up the box cake I was gonna make later and I HATE going to the supermarket hungry. So I picked up ANOTHER clif bar :)

"Snack"
Clif Bar
(not pictured)
5 pts

Lunch
Whole Wheat Pita
Red and Green bell peppers
1/3 cup mozzarella cheese
1 tbsp parmesan cheese
5.5 pts

Dinner
1 and 1/2 cup whole wheat pasta
Tilapia fillet
1 tbsp sour cream
spinach, diced tomatoes, garlic
1 tbsp parmesan cheese
9 pts

It was similar to what I made a few nights ago except I didn't add the butter. It was not as tasty without the butter, but I still liked it!

Okay and for the big finale, I made a Betty Crocker Super Moist Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake! Instead of preparing the batter by the instructions on the back of the box, I only added 2 egg whites and 1 can of diet Coke to the mixture. I found the recipe at Gina's Weight Watcher's Recipes Blog.

After it finished baking, I cut it into 12 squares. Before I even had my piece, I packed the eleven other servings in sandwich bags and put them in the freezer!!! Clearly I know that I cannot be trusted with extra servings of cake lying around my house. And I don't want to have a repeat of the dishwashing liquid intervention.

I snapped a photo midway through my packing














After all the extra pieces were packaged and packed safely in the freezer, I served myself!
Topped the cake square with that Dreyer's individual serving of Vanilla bean ice cream I mentioned in an older post and a table spoon of chocolate fudge!!!

Dessert
8 pts

Total for the day: 36.5 pts!!!
Yay!!

xoxo
dee.

Saturday Splurging

There is something about Weigh-In day that makes me not want to step into the kitchen. The timing of the meeting and having work immediately after forces me to grab lunch on the go. Then by the time I get home, I just DONT WANT TO COOK!

Pre-meeting a picked up a Clif Bar (big surprise!)

I've gotta stop eating these. I don't even do any extreme exercising (look at that guy just climbing away) do I really need the energy of a Clif bar? Honestly I eat these things like treats.

I promise - this is my last clif bar (for the next week...)






Lunch was a six inch roast beef sub.









No this isn't a repost of old pictures. LoL. This only feels like deja vu because I ate the EXACT SAME THING last week saturday :) I have to figure out a way to motivate myself to cook on Saturdays.

I really wanted a dessert today. I sat around contemplating for a while. I originally wanted Baskin Robbins, but I waited too long and they closed. So I went to the supermarket and found this:

A small single serving of icecream. Yay! So this is what I turned it into this:
Thats a mini angel food cake, chocolate syrup, strawberries with the icecream on top!

It was soooooo good. I made sure not to buy more than one of those ice creams because I would have taken advantage of it :)

xoxo
dee.

I DID IT!!!

I went to my Saturday morning meeting and I was very anxious to see how I did this week. I have a tendency to maintain or gain after having a significant loss the week before. My only hope for this week was that I would be down 0.8 just to get me to 25lbs.

..And I DiD It!!
(and then some)

I lost 1 lb this week. Woohoo!!
I celebrate every loss. Even the weeks where I "only" lose 0.2 lbs. Every pound, every ounce, takes some degree of effort to lose so I appreciate them. Shoot, to be honest, at this point I would gladly welcome a week where I am able to maintain my weight because considering my eating habits before I joined weight watchers, maintaining my weight is a miracle in its own right.

Exhibit A:













And since I reached the 25lb milestone, I got a Weight Watcher's reward!
Its a small little key chain thing but I love it and it makes me feel really proud to see it :) I know its cheesy but I worked for that little thing!!! I'm very very happy today. I am a sneeze away from being out of the 160s (no pressure, no pressure!) I cannot honestly remember being in the 150s. I know it happened some time in high school when I was doing Weight Watchers for the first time. But I think that lasted for about a week LoL. AHHH I am so pumped!

Anyway, at the meeting today we discussed really focusing on getting the required amount of fruits and vegetables per day. So my goal for this week is to focus on switching up my menu a bit and really pushing vegetables. I talked to a friend who reads my blog the other day and she said that I eat too much tilapia. LoL. I know! So this week I am going to shake up my menu...maybe after Wednesday when I do my grocery shopping. If you have any fun ideas for my cooking, please feel free to leave a comment!!


xoxo
dee.

The Results are IN!!

I woke up this morning pretty excited to go to my weekly meeting. And besides the snickers debacle, I've been on track this whole week. Whats great about Weight Watchers is that you just have to be "good" most of the time - indulging once in a while is kinda built into the whole plan. Thats been my experience with it anyway.

I was a little late to my meeting because I stopped at trader joes for a Cliff bar (will discuss that disaster later) to snack on while I was at the meeting. Stepped on the scale and clocked in at....wait for it.....
wait for it...


161.6!!!
The photographic evidence :)

Yes! Its true!
I lost 3lbs this week.
Well, let me just note that a 3lb loss isn't really typical for me. But last week I had a 2 lb gain so I think that's why my loss was so serious. I didn't even exercise since I just wanted to get back to the basics of the whole food thing.

But regardless .... 161.6!?!? AHH! I am so pumped! I called my Mom and told her about it all nonchalant but inside I was doing my happy dance! Go Me! At this point, I am very close to other milestones (soooo close to 25lb lost, soooo close to being out of the 160s!!) But I don't want to think about it too much. I'll just keep focused on this new week and food and maybe throw in a little exercise somewhere. Wish me luck!




xoxo
dee.